The Goths

Another episode in the New Labour saga is rapidly unfolding under our eyes this season – the complex and unsightly drama of a ruling tribe in its death throes, wrought up in havoc, blazing scandal, and intestine discord.

For longer than a decade, its rowdy bands of mercenaries, chancers, quacks, bejewelled interlopers and freebooters have ravaged our lands, vandalising and turning everything to dust. Where they've passed, the grass no longer grows.

Now, cursing him for their sores, the scarcity of future plunder, the inauspicious weather and the accumulated discontent of their slaves, the bands have turned against their leader, plotting to sack him, take away his power, and burn his tent.

The plan is to replace him with a man more suited to their habits, with more lustre, but without valour.

Will their present chieftain find the necessary strength and ruthlessness to chop the heads of those who have raised against him, evangelise the rest, reverse the depredation and teach his men to cultivate the land instead?

Or will he follow the tragic fate of Gothic queen Amalasuntha? She also tried to curb corruption in her kingdom and put an end to the barbarians’ invasions. Sadly, she took the fatal step of sharing power with her cousin, a vengeful man who stirred up her people’s disaffection, usurped all her authority, and had her banished on the island of Martena.